Most affected word by Bollywood in 2009(Life of a Kaminey and an Idiot)

Happy nu yr 2 Everybody..... Welcome to www.chittahere.blogspot.com in 2010... As usual bollywood is affecting the Indian society. So the most affected word in 2009 r "IDIOT" & "KAMINEY"..

Life of Kaminey
 

Around 1980:-
"Kutte KAMNEY mein tera khoon pii jaunga". The famous dialogue from Dharmendra used in every comedy, one act play etc. .. This was used as bad word till 2009 December.  Still used as only in slang lang....
In 2009:-
The fever of the Kaminey movie song is still in d air... Now ppl r using this word in friendly manner..
"Kaminey aur kaisa hai tu"... "Bol Kamine saare thhik thak hai to"

Life of Idiots
The meaning of Idiot is completely changed after the movie "3 Idiots". Thanks to "Amir Khan" & co-star.
before 2009
Teachers generally used to tell student that u r idiot.. U can't become anything in ur life... U r just a waste piece of paper. The only place is dustbin for u.
In 2010:
Whenever teacher calls the student Idiot now the student will be happy, Hai at least i can become another Amir Khan yaar.. .

Note:--- Arguments over grammars and styles are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs

A change in DESIGNATION from SE to SSE

The Funda of SSE & SE 

Previously My designation was  SE(Software Engineer). Generally i have to do the job as per my senior orders. Now its time of April the PROMOTION Time wahhhh............ One fine monday morning igot frustrated  and try to meet my manager

Day --1 Monday morning

Manager:- Good morning nice to meet u. 

Engineer:- Gd morning(BTW i hv not come here for Hi--Hello)

Manager:- Ok how the work is going on. Hope its going on fine..

Engineer:- yaa its going on fine(witha sarcastic smile.. saale  vaad mein jaye kaam.. kabhi to problem ki baare mein bhi puchliya kaar) 

Manager:- I came to heard that u r not satisfied  with ur current designation... By the way i m looking into dat case

Engineer:- Yaa its right ..( Chhhodo yaar aur kya bolun.. atleast i m getting the power .. should tell him about the pay-hike in next meeting)

Day-3 Wednesday Morning

I got a mail form HR & Manager that i hv promoted to the post SSE. I got excited.. No pay hike nothing but at-least i got the power. Hurrey---

2-Weeks Latter 

2 week later i got to know that although i m SSE. i have no power. Still i m acting as an SE(Software Engineer). Now i got the actual meaning of SSE(Still  Software Engineer)..  So dear friend never go for a designation hike always go for the Pay-Hike.....

Note:--- SSE(Still Software engineer) not SSE(Senior Software Engineer). So dear Friend never go for a change in designation better demand for the pay-hike.

Lets Meet Different People........... (Some real incident with people.. from the memory)

Incident 1(Travelling in Train).. Sometimes look matters
This is one of the real incident happens to one of the friend of this blogger. Once he was travelling in train. As usual he hates to late and come too early to a place also. This time the hero was really late. Although train departure time was 05.30PM arrived around 5.25PM. The look was something with long hair, clean Shaved(just opposite of that :) ), a hand bag in shoulder(just like u can say a typical टप्पोरी  style look. One of the old woman was going in front of him  carrying a bag in one of the hand and a small baby(around 8 months old) in other hand. Nearly the bag was going to fell down from her hand. So he told that please give me the bag "i can leave u at ur seat then i will go" so that u can carry the baby properly. But the old woman gave a just nasty look towards him. So he left the place and as per his guess the bag fell down from the old woman hand. But the egoistic(my friend) didn't return to help her. He just went away without looking back. Unfortunately the old woman seat was the near to the his seat. They don't chat to each other for nearly 2 hr. Then suddenly silence brokes and the old woman told that :- "U r right at that time i should give u the hand bag". By the way what r u doing.. .Don't mind u r looking like a टप्पोरी  and told me somthing in hindi(sorry ppl i m very poor in hindi). u can't be a engineer. Just change ur dressing style.N e way thanks for the help....

So Dressing sense mater some time ... My friend was converted to टप्पोरी from an इंजिनियर
नोट :- As narrated to me by my friend....

I JUST SAY HIV +

I JUST SAY HIV + NOTHING ELSE...... PLEASE PARDON ME

One fine sunny afternoon “My bhabi(friend’s wife)” came to our house. It’s a daily practice we call each other or pass the food if we prepare some delicious food. She came and seat quietly. Her normal charming face is not glowing so much. How can a lady be seated quietly for so much time. She broke her silence with just 2 words “Veg Today” with the question “what was in Lunch today… aap to hum logo ko bhul hii gaye kabhi to yaad karo”..

Why Swap(My friend) is not dere or wht?

No he is out of station for tour….

Hai bhabi wht happens these days he is going for so much tour…just yesterday we had snacks & tea in evening … Mujhhe kuch bhi bola nehi,….han kahin GF ka chhakar to nehi!!!!!!!!!!!!!….Sambhalke rakho bhaiko…I asked jokingly[:pppppppppppppp] with a sarcastic smile.

Now she cried loudly. Situation became out of control. Its time for my wife to console her and I thought I should came out of room so that she can ask privately to bhabi(after all noone understand woman).

But bhabi told that matter is serious now, so I came for ur help. May be our marriage will broke.

Oh god. It was a surprise to me and my wife as we know bhabi and Swap are close to us. We didn’t hv any hint also about this problem. She told us that she has an affair with one of colleague. She was beautiful and little advanced that was enough to catch Swap. But u knows gents! So he is just an example.

Suddenly one mischief came in mind. I had to explain d entire plan to both my wife and Bhabi. She accepted d plan with little bit hesitant. I assured her abt d result. I know that my friend isn’t dat kind of man it was just phase with some people. But by d time they realize it was too late.

According to our plane Bhabi had to go to Swap office(Swap was out of office) and just told that girl everything which was taught to her. After 10 days when Swap came, that girl already left the job and move to another city leaving a letter for Swap.

As the final scene is going to begin so our presence is required.

Swap come back from office but got shocked by seeing me and my wife there. Bhabi told that no problem u can told as they know everything. Then Swap was shocked and at full voice he shouted at bhabi : --Why u hv gone to office ? and wht u hv told her that I am HIV +ve? R u sick ??? How cheap and ghatia mind u hv. ???

Now its turn of Bhabi to speak. She started after getting sign from me. Maine kya galat bola hun ye too mujhe batao??…You only told me that u r always POSITIVE thinking and confident. I have just told the Lady(ur colleague) that you are “HIV +ve”

And “HIV +” full form is “He Is Very positive” . Aur usne mere ko to Full Form puchha nehi….may be she didn’t hv faith on you.

Suddenly there is silence in d room. My friend was completely dumb and looked towards me giving a fishy smile as he understood who was the director and writer of this drama.  N e way mera bhi eek faida hua...

We got a delicious treat from bhabi as her marriage life was saved.

.xxxxxxJust only a story came up while chatting with one of my friend abt the funny full form of HIVxxxxxxxxx

ALL ABOUT SHIT & TGIF

Day 1:

Once a guy met one of his friend in the company staircase.. While greeting she told  "TGIF" [:P].

At the same time the guy answered with a sarcastic smile on his face & says "SHIT".

The girl puzzled and said again "TGIF' thinking that the guys telling something wrongly.

The guys again reply back with the same smile and says "SHIT" loudly.

Now his friend asked angrily that i m telling u TGIF for at least 3 times and u r telling me SHIT don't u even know how to respect a person...

Cool baby cools i m always right as usual...

just check today calendar.. .and wht i mean to say

TGIF:- Thanks God its Friday

SHIT:- Sorry Honey Its Thursday( I m trying to tell u that today is Thursday and u r not listening it.

Both laugh at each other and left the discussion there.

Day 2:

Again they meet in next day (i.e. Friday). The girls says with a smile hi buddy.. "TGIF".. (remembering yesterday incident)

The guys replied again "SHIT"... Same to......

Now the girl got furious and told that wht happens today. u r telling "SHIT" again and i m sure today is Friday.. U r useless go to helllllllllllllllllll..........

Hey listen wht is the meaning of SHIT this time. Cool baby cools i m always right as usual...

SHIT :- Sure Honey Its True and u have not listen the sentence fully.. .i want to say SHIT Same to U... and u started shouting at me without listening the complete sentence..

Note:- U can add the meaning of SHIT and TGIF in comment

Non-veg khane ka naya bahana

One of my friend ask why u r eating non-veg in festival. Do u know that god is everywhere and u r eating non-veg. U r destroying the god creation. U will go to hell after death....
Hey....... Hey wait for me. lets don't finish the debate. U can't leave the topic like this. Let me finish my point also... Lets start..

1. U know i m an atheist. Acoording to u God is there everywhere and god is in everybody also.
2. U r telling me to believe in god. So if i m eating non-veg(egg, chicken etc) means i am taking eating God(as god in everywhere). So i m increasing the no. of god or god's quality in me.
3. So more no. of chicken, eggs u will eat. More god will come to ur body... So may be some day i will change from Atheist to a Pandit

So lets eat non-veg.............. [:P]

HOW IS DIS OSCAR...Great INDIAN OSCAR with great thought

Sometime don't u wonder why there is so much hype in Oscar Award. Finally the movie based on the indian life got the Oscar Award SlumDog Millionaire. "JAI HO". Oh no whts happening to me . Am i also in the fever of Oscar or something else. I love that finally one of indian movie/actor got the award. Yup but my fever is something different. Wht abt a OSCAR award of india taking into consideration of the incident happened in 2008~09. After all india has so many things unity in diversity, lots of festival etc. So lets start with the BEST STORY AWARD.

BEST STORY AWARD:- A Deputy CM demonstrates his adherence to the law by falling in Love to the former assistant advocate general. But no doubt already he has wife. After all its LOVE. Love don't obey any order or law. The Hindu lovers become a Muslim Couple(The name are Chand Mohamme & Fiza). After the NIkaahs(Shadi) he decided to go back to his own religion and first e\wife. After all OLD IS GOLD. hThe 2nd wife attempts suicide accuse him of rape. But Chand(husband) remains strong. He divorced Fiza thro SMS(Thanks to the technology and new ruleof muslim). Oh no this story have all the things politics,law & order, Love, crime ,Horror , Glamor, Technology. So the OSCAR award for best story goes to ChandraMohan(hindu before marriage to Fiza) and Chand Mohammed for "FIZa Ke Liye"
BEST SCREENPLAY:- After all how can we forget the IPL. A group of bollywood star, Vijjay Malya, Sahrukh, Priti all involved here. The action of this begin with a auction. Cricketers are just auctioned as vegetables. DEcan charger runs out of Power. The king's also involved in this. One of the Royal Family(Rajasthan Royal) wins. While the other Royals(Bangalore Royals) finished with last but one spot. Vijay Mallya sucks, Priti Hugs the Kings(King-XI), Saharukh hugs Sohaib. And the most interesting things is Cheerleaders. The friends(Harbhajan & SreeSanth) becomes enemies. Slapping scene. Akshya Kumar stunt chopper scene oh no.. lots of things to describe. Shane Warne the unrecognized leader and team get the trophy. After all everybody every king was happy. But but only Mallya"the beer king" was unhappy. So everybody play shamelessly played for screen afterall "Money Hai to Honey Hai". So the Best Screen Play Award goes to the mastermind of the IPL Mr. Lalit Modi for "Paisa bhi hota hai" "Paisa nehi to Kuch nehi"
BEST MUSIC/SONGS:- It was first composed by hindu saint. Performed by RamSena. Strongly influenced by the culture, mad to youth, becomes one of the favorite song in party and hit the top of the charts on Valentine day. But but.. It can't beat the old "DUM MARE DUM" by Devanand. Anyway we are bound to give the Best Music to Mr. Pramod Muthalik for his message to Youth "Hurry Home Hurry"(Hari ohm Hari).

BEST Actor in Supporting Role:- Still searching for the appropriate award.

BEST Editing:- A good script can completely collapse if it is not cut to perfection. A shining example was the Olympic Telecast. An unconventional editing technique was used whereby all interesting action was cut. The audience had to imagine the action by seeing the prize distribution. DD, like any good editor, took us, the audience, on an emotional rollercoaster ride. We wept when rowing was shown instead of gymnastics. We cursed when athletics was cut in favor of Greco-Roman wrestling. We laughed at the “expert analysis”. And we were inspired everytime we saw Vijender punch the air to the tune of Chak De India. Live telecast was transformed by radical editing into a dead telecast. The Oscar for Best Editing goes to Doordarshan for “Dekh Sake Tho Dekh Lo”.

BEST Costumes:-His authority may have been loose but his collar was buttoned. His policies rankled but his sleeve was creased. His words were meaningless and few. For he was a man of Achkan. He faced diplomats with polish (on his shoes) and terrorists with boldness (in his checks). For bathing us in his sartorial splendor, the Oscar Award for Best Costumes goes to Shivraj Patil for “Kapda, Kapda aur Kapda”.

BEST Action:- He asked for Maa Ki Dal, but got into trouble. He prayed for Man-ki Shakti. And-drew Symonds’ rage. Everybody told him to shut up. So, like Hellen Keller, he decided to let his hands do the talking. His opportunity came when a team-mate showed some cheek on the field. He responded to the cheek with some slapstick comedy. Unfortunately nobody found it funny and he had to face a suspension with disbelief. For a resounding performance that brought tears to the eyes of Sreesanth, the Oscar Award for Action goes to Harbhajan Singh for “Thappad Phad Ke”.

BEST Actor in a Leading Role:-He was over 70 years old, but willing to take up a leading role. Surrounded by friends who were actually enemies and enemies who were actually, well, enemies, he sailed his way with indifferent elan. There were bombs, controversies, recessions, betrayals, and general pandemonium but he responded to everything with studied, emotionless, underplay. A thoroughly professional actor, he listened to every single thing, his directorji told him. For a convincing performance of acting as if he was leading the country, The Oscar Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role, goes to Manmohan for the highly ornamental role he played in “Singh is Bling”.

BEST Director:- This year, the award goes to not a mere director but a managing director. It’s a story of one man against society. Of a man who defied conventions. A man who fought for his principles. Accounting principles, that is. Who believed that books are not salads to be left uncooked. Who fought against the norm that employees should have a corporeal presence. Who refused to hear his conscience because he had some Auditory problems. It’s a saga of human dreams that would have enraptured even Sigmund Fraud. The best director of the year goes to Ramalinga Raju for “Scamasutra".

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BEST Picture:- A magnum opus for which 552 villains were assembled (unfortunately, there was no money left-over for heroes). By any stretch of imagination it is the longest movie ever made – 5 years approximately. It’s a movie with no story but lots of plots – devious plots. It’s a fluid script with many actors staging walk-outs. There is no action but lot of motion(s). And commotion. With over 500 people shouting concurrently, the audio levels were so high that even the Speaker packed up. The movie had a message. That while the country is forced into socialism, the parliament operates as a free-market. For 5 entertaining years of bedlam, the Oscar Awards for the Best Picture goes to the 14th Lok Sabha for “Chor Machaye Shor.”

LIFETIME Achivement:- The one actor who never seems to leave the stage is Deve Gowda. He has had a rich career in which he has acted in numerous mega-hits. He played the indifferent CM with a profit motive in "No Aankhen Bara Haath". He captured the spirit of a villager who fluked his way to Delhi in "Ragi Ban Gaya Gentleman". He portrayed the social worker who opposed infra-structure in "Viroadi". And a million other such roles. He has a wealth of experience and now an experience of wealth. For amassing an incredible amount of er... wisdom in one lifetime, the Oscar Award for Lifetime Achievement goes to Deve Gowda

BEST Actor in an OPPOSITE Role:- They are friends for nearly 12 yrs. But they just split before the elections. BJP needs the BJD in Orissa. At that time BJP BJD disputes and Mr. Naveen Pattanaik becomes the best friend of NCP and 3rd Party. Got the trust votes in a new style. So the Oscar award for Best Actor in Opposite role goes to Orissa CM for his trustworthiness to BJP

Note: Data taken from another source through mail